This song is stuck in my head...what's in yours?

"Pick Yer Nose"
Ani Difranco
How come I can pick my ears
but not my nose
who made up that rule anyway
how can you say that's the way it
is that's just the way it goes
why don't you decide for yourself
what you can do
and what you can say
how come I can pick my friends
but not my enemies
what is it about me that offends
what is it about me
'cause you know I'm only five foot two
and I'm giggly wiggly
tell me again, what did I do
why are you scared of me
I fight with love
and I laugh with rage
you've gotta live light enough
to see the humour
and long enough to see some change
I think shy is boring
I think depressed is too
I think pretty is nice
but I'd rather see something new
all these plastic people
got their plastic surgery
but we got a big big beautiful
we got it for free
who you gonna be
if you can't be yourself
you can't get it from t.v.
you can't force it on
anybody else
you know they come to clear cut
they come to strip mine
they come for some of my big butt
my big brain
or just a little time
they wanna take me out to dinner
think I'm a bitch if I don't go
seems like the people who actually like me
won't allow me to say no
your idea of a conversation
is the third degree
but I don't really know you
and I don't really want to talk about me
'cause I'm not going to pretend
that I don't pick my nose
that's just the way it is, my friends
that's just the way it goes
this is who I am
what I do
and what I say
if you like it, let it be
if you don't, please do the same
I fight with love
I laugh with rage
you gotta live light enough to see the humour
and long enough to see some change

NitiNil

Baby Dance

16 Tips to Looking + Feeling Great

Do you want to improve the quality of your life? Do you want to look and feel better than you have in years maybe better than you ever have before? Do you want to protect yourself from disease and injury? And do you want to live a longer, more vital life?

Im confident that you answered YES! to each of those questions, just as the hundreds of individuals Ive counseled, coached, and trained in my career as a Certified Personal Fitness Trainer and Rehabilitation Specialist.

Im now going to reveal to you the 16 essential strategies that have enabled my clients to achieve the health and fitness goals they always wanted!

16 Essential Weight Loss and Fitness Strategies

1. In the beginning, your fitness program should not be overly aggressive. One of the biggest problems people encounter when starting a fitness program is rapidly depleted motivation after only a few weeks due to an overly ambitious fitness program. Attempting to do too much too fast is worse than doing nothing at all! Because then you feel like exercise is too hard and its just not for you.

Start out slow, maybe just shooting for 1 or 2 workouts a week. Once you have successfully added that to your normal routine, then attempt to slowly add to your fitness program. Plus, most people dont need to exercise more than 3-4 times a week. That doesnt mean you cant exercise more; its just not necessary.

2. Always have a detailed plan! In order to reach your health and fitness goals, you must have a road map to follow. I cant stress this enough. If you are unsure of how to put together a fitness plan, or if youre uncertain of the effectiveness of the one you have, I highly recommend you consult a professional fitness trainer. With a well thought out plan you are much more likely to be successful!

3. Set realistic, attainable goals. You must have tangible, quantifiable, short and long-term goals so you can measure and assess your progress. Too many people have totally unrealistic expectations of what to expect from an exercise and nutrition program. The best way for you to understand what is realistic and attainable is to talk with a fitness professional not to buy into the hype of infomercials and diet and fitness products that are blatantly misleading.

4. Keep a journal! This is one of the most important things you can do. If youre not tracking what youre doing, how will you know what worked? There are quite a few great exercise and nutrition logs Ive come across. You should keep track of all your exercise and also each days food intake.

Theres a company called NutraBiotics that makes a great 90-day journal that can be used to track strength training, cardiovascular exercise, and daily nutrition. If you would like more information on this journal, please feel free to call me at 240-731-3724.

5. You must be accountable! Set exercise appointments with yourself if youre not working with a personal fitness trainer. Use your appointment book to set aside times for exercise, just like you do for meetings or events. Dont let things get in the way. Nothing is more important than your health! If you dont have your health you cant effectively do anything. I often have mothers tell me that they cant find time to exercise because they have to take care of their children. I have 4 daughters myself, and a baby on the way, so I know exactly how hard it is. Whatever your situation is, making the commitment to exercise and your health IS possible, and very important. Plus, it sets a great example for the children!

6. Remember the benefits of exercise. Being physically fit affects every aspect of your life: you sleep better, eat better, love better, overcome stress better, work better, communicate better, and live better! Remember how good it feels to finish a workout, and how great it feels to meet your goals!

7. Exercise safely and correctly. So much time is wasted doing, at best, unproductive exercise, or at worst, dangerous exercise. Educate yourself on how to exercise correctly. The best way to do that is to hire a personal fitness trainer. It could be for just a few sessions to learn the basics, or it could be for a few months to learn everything. Its completely up to you. But statistics prove that those who understand how to exercise correctly get better, faster results. And thats what you want, right?

8. Enjoy your exercise! For example, if you hate doing strength training, try to find ways to make it more enjoyable. Circuit training might be a more fun and exciting way to fit this important part of fitness into your program. The key is you should enjoy it, and if you dont you need to look for other exercises or activities to replace whatever it is you dont enjoy.

If you dont enjoy it, how do you expect to stick with it?

9. Make time to stretch! It has so much benefit and takes very little time. So many people suffer from various aches and pains of which most can be eliminated by basic stretches! Try to spend at least 5 minutes after each workout stretching. For more information on stretching and how it eliminates aches and pains, please call 240-731-3724 to request a FREE copy of my special report No More Back Pain.

10. Dont think you need to exercise 5 days a week! I touched on this earlier. Many people feel theyre getting fat because theyre not exercising. Totally not the case! Exercise is not the answer! Its all in your eating habits. However, exercise can aid in burning body fat, plus there are numerous health benefits. Think of exercise as a bonus.

How many people do you know who exercise 3-5 times per week, but still fail to meet their weight loss and fitness goals? Ive met hundreds!

First look at your eating habits, such as: when you eat, what you eat, how much you eat, where you eat, and how often you eat.

11. Never skip breakfast, or any meal! If you want to maximize your fitness or fat-loss efforts youve got to eat breakfast! So many people skip breakfast, and its the worst thing you could ever do when it comes to fat-loss. Skipping meals throws your blood sugar all out of whack and it sets you up to store your next meal as fat, almost guaranteed!

12. Eat fat to lose fat. Healthy fats are necessary to your body for numerous reasons: regulating hormonal production, improving immune function, lowering total cholesterol, and providing the basics for healthy hair, nails, and skin.

The key is to eat the right types of fats. The good fats are monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats like olive oil, canola oil, sunflower oil, safflower oil, and avocados, to name a few. The bad fats are partially hydrogenated oils, and trans fats. Most processed foods contain large amounts of these bad fats. For more information on the different types of fats, please call 240-731-3724 to request a FREE copy of my Healthy Eating Guidelines.

13. Drink plenty of fresh, clean water. Yes, I know that you have probably heard this one over and over again. But theres a reason for that its that important! The recommended daily intake of water is 8 glasses, or 64 oz. You should even be drinking even more if you are active or exercise regularly.

And no, soda, juice, coffee, and tea DONT count! Nearly every chemical process place in your body, takes place in water! Proper blood flow and digestion are both affected by how much water you drink, and poor blood flow and digestion can be linked to numerous health conditions.

14. Stabilize your blood sugar! If you want to burn fat and prevent your body from putting it back on, you must stabilize your blood sugar. In order to do this you need to eat small, balanced meals or snacks every 2-3 hours.

Fasting, skipping meals, and overly restrictive diets will enable you to lose weight in the short run. The weight you lose is primarily water weight and muscle tissue, and in the long run has opposite effect of what you want. When you restrict your diet, your body instinctively thinks its being starved and shifts into a protective mode by slowing down the metabolism and storing nearly all calories as body fat. Plus, losing muscle tissue is the last thing you want to do. Muscle burns calories, even while you sleep. You should be focused on increasing, or at least maintaining muscle tissue.

15. Focus on increasing muscle tissue. As I mentioned previously, muscle burns calories, so if you want to increase your metabolism, you have to increase your muscle. The best way to do that is with progressive strength training. That doesnt mean you have to join a gym, buy expensive fitness equipment, or follow some bodybuilding workout program; it simply means you need to challenge your muscles! You can do that at home in just 15-20 minutes, 2-3 times a week.

16. Get the help of an expert! Obviously, meeting your health and fitness goals is important to you, so why not eliminate the guesswork and start seeing the results you have always wanted? With the help of a qualified professional you can!

If your car breaks down, where do you take it? Mechanic, right? How about if you have a cavity? Dentist. So why is it that so many people attempt to solve their health and fitness problems without consulting an expert? I dont know exactly, but I encourage you to make the investment in yourself- in your life- by hiring a professional to educate you and help you meet your goals.

So there you have it. The 16 essential strategies for an effective weight loss and fitness program that will have you looking and feeling great!

NitiNil

Current mood

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive.
Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines.
They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents.
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

NitiNil

Expect the Unexpected

Expect people to say dumb things.
Expect someone to say, "I'm sorry for your loss..."
Expect to have no idea what they are talking about. Expect to wonder what it is you've lost--you're thinking pocket change, a left-hand glove, perhaps your mind. You wonder where is "Lost and Found".
Expect to be asked out--by your best friend's husband.
Expect to be asked, "Do you masturbate," by your best friend.
Expect to break down in tears at the sound of the doorbell, each time the telephone rings, at the sight of a new born baby held in her mother's arms while out for a stroll with the dog.
Expect the beginning of every day and the end of every evening to make you cringe with pain and wish to be dead.
Expect to feel suicidal, angry, unhappy, happy, sad, mad, glad, alone, lonely, guilty, free, euphoric, bored, overworked, overwhelmed, tired, and despondent.
Expect not to.
Expect all your friends to run away.
Expect all your friends to come back.
Expect no one to understand how you feel, though they say, "I understand how you feel." They don't. They never will.
Expect not to answer dumb questions.
Expect to cry--when you least expect it. When you are driving. When you are walking. When you are bathing. When you are toweling off after a hot shower. When you open the mail. When you pay a bill. When you open the refrigerator door at 2 a.m. and wonder what it is you are doing and why are you reading the expiration date on the quart of milk parked on the top shelf.
Expect to laugh--at the dog peeing on the living room rug. At Channel 2 news. At the woman next door going out on a date with the woman down the street. Expect to wish it were you.
Expect to feel guilty that you are alive and that your husband is dead.
Expect to ask God, "Why me? Expect to ask God that question over and over and over, again.
Expect to feel weak.
Expect to feel strong.
Expect not to understand why this terrible thing has happened to you, a good person. Expect to think you do.
Expect to make plans to run away. Expect to cancel them, because you realize there is no place to run to.
Expect to kiss a fool. Expect to feel foolish, stupid, sorry, guilty.
Expect to wish for a giant eraser to erase away all your pain. And the world's.
Expect the pain to never go away.
Expect to smile when you feel like crying.
Expect to live when you feel like dying.
Expect to sleep when you least expect it.
Expect not to dream and wish you could.
Expect to feel like not talking
Expect not to be able to shutup.
Expect to be unable to focus.
Expect not to eat.
Expect to eat too much.
Expect to not be in the mood--for all the things you once were in the mood for.
Expect the sun to rise, daffodils to sprout, and every freaking bird in the neighborhood to sing, at once, right after you have just fallen asleep.
Expect autumn leaves to fall, expect a cold breeze, and expect every kid for a radius of twenty five miles to knock on your door at the end of a long hard day when you least expect it and exclaim, "Trick or Treat!"
Expect the stars to shine, the moon to glow, and the earth to spin on its axis.
You are a widow now. The unexpected is what separates you and me from the rest of the world.

NitiNil

You Have Permission

You have permission to grieve.

There is no prescription, no timetable, no right way, no wrong way to mourn the one you love. *Note, I said, "love", present tense. Just because he's dead, doesn't mean your feelings are.* So long as you don't harm yourself or anyone else, there is only one way to grieve. And that's your way.

Maybe it's a short walk on a city street with a stop to admire a pair of leather loafers in Macy's department store window, or a long walk down a wooded path smelling wet grass and listening to the blue jay sing that fills your heart with love and memories for your man. Perhaps you find solace sitting in a crowded room among noisy strangers, think Barnes & Noble, Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks. Whatever it is that aids in your healing process, go for it. Go to that corner diner. Order that cup of tea, eavesdrop on that conversation at the next table (Remember Woody Allen? Somebody out there remember the name of that movie? You know the one.). Watch the cashier as she doles out change for a twenty to a nervous customer as she juggles her purse, along with a tray of coffees, and a swatch of paper napkins, enough to wash a floor with, clasped in one fist.

For several months after my husband died, I found comfort sitting by his grave. In the past, our Sunday mornings had been filled with us lying naked in bed, sharing coffee and raspberry filled donuts, while pouring over The New York Times and The Journal News. I decided to continue our tradition. Only this time I wore clothes. Looking back through misty-coated eyes, I realize sitting alone at my husband's grave established a new order for me and helped to mend my broken heart. It was something I just had to do. As Frank Sinatra sings, "I did it my way".

You have permission to do it your way.

NitiNil

Loves

I'm so stupid.
I honestly believed it.
I never learn from my mistakes.
The past wasn't supposed to repeat itself.
Especially not with you.

I remember the humid air. The fireflies. I remember the cold marble floor. The dark outline of your face. I remember choking back the tears. I remember exactly what I was wearing too. Jeans and my white hoodie. I remember everything. I remember the shouting and the slamming door. The little green light flickering in the corner of my eye. I remember the spacious gray auditorium. I remember the skit. I remember the look in her eyes. I remember how angry I was.

On one hand, I wish I didn't remember anything. My mind would be completely blank with no recollection of all the painful things that took place in that short period of time. But then on the other hand, if these memories were gone, I don't know what I would do. Because along with the horrible flash backs, come the good ones. Like the frisbees and the trees and the sleepovers and the laughs and the tickle fights and the couches.

But do the good things cancel out the bad?

That always seems to be the question: I see the good. I see the bad. But there always seems to be more bad than good.
Does that make me a pessimist. Or a realist?

I don't know. And frankly I don't really care.

I almost lost you. Now all I need is the security in knowing that you won't ever completely disappear from my life again...

NitiNil

Valentine's Day.

I felt I had an obligation to put up an entry today.
Because its...valentines day.
The perfect excuse to wear pink and red and to give out chocolate and hug everyone you see and slip notes into your crush's locker.
I personally think it's just a stupid Hallmark holiday and the only good thing is the free candy and stuff.

But then the bad stuff comes into play.
Like the fact that it's really depressing spending another 'valentines day alone', even though we're only thirteen. And then especially if you just came out of like a messy emotionally charged situation, you really start to hate all the mushy gushy love couples and start like freaking out when they kiss eachother in the hallways.

Even if you aren't a train wreck and you don't start spazzing in the hallways, if you don't have someone to spend today with, you start thinking back to previous crushes and previous someones (which of course is bad bad bad) and then you get all emo, like me, thinking about the PAST, which is always a problem.

Anyway.
I think that we should all boycott valentines day. And I think that we should turn Friday the 13th or something into an anti love day. Where everyone has to wear black or green (the opposite of red) and everyone gives up all that romantic tender heartfelt stuff for just one day. And if you're in 'love' and if you're happily married or something like that, you can stay indoors and celebrate your 'true love' without rubbing it in everyone else's faces. Yes, I admit it isn't the most joyous holiday, but there's something insanely appealing about a day dedicated to bitching about your ex's and failed loves. Then after complaining all day, everyone can go home and take a bubble bath and blast their music and eat ice cream out of the carton.


It's almost like national PMS day. Except men can do it too.

NitiNil